I Can't Say I Care
by NekuraSunshine
Summary: Inside the mind of Emmett Cullen. Oneshot- R&R please!


A/N I don't own Twilight or any characters, no matter how much I beg Stephenie Meyer. For the purposes of this oneshot, Rosalie never existed. Not that I don't love Rose/Emmett, but I wanted to think outside the box a little. Enjoy!

Emmett tore a thick branch from the nearest oak, and threw it like a dart at a rusted red Toyota he had saved from the scrap heap. Although, for him, it was merely a toss, the car was thrown backwards into a wall with a satisfying crunch. The exercise was supposed to let out his anger and distract him from the war raging in his mind, but something about how the metal curled over the wood protectively, even in its dying moments, confused him more than ever.

He turned swiftly on his heel, and made his way into the forest, away from the Cullens' house. That was exactly the place Emmett didn't want to be- where everyone else was. To see Bella cradled against Edward, nestled in the soft grass together, would make things worse. He didn't trust himself in their company; he might do something he would regret.

Emmett spied a moss-laden log, and sat down, his head in his hands. Much as he wanted to avoid thinking, he needed time to sort things out in his head, to try and control this raging forest fire. Letting his mind wander freely, it selected an evening scene about a week ago, when things started to go wrong.

_Lying on cushions, so his weight didn't puncture the floor, Emmett was doing push ups. He was busy mulling over the number of girls that had asked him on a date recently, and that he had declined. None of them seemed right for him, he thought. Besides, he didn't trust himself to be in such close proximity with humans. To him, they were made of playdoh, squashed and destroyed in one careless moment._

_As he reached push-up number 526, there was a knock on his bedroom door. Swinging himself into a cross-legged position on the floor, he called for whomever it was to enter. In stumbled Bella, pyjama-clad with her hair loose. Blowing a brunette strand out of her eyes, her eyes raked over Emmett's shirtless form for less than a second, and then she asked,_

_Hey Em, have you seen my-" she began, but was interrupted by something Edward yelled from downstairs. _

_Oh, sorry. Never mind!" She gushed with a sheepish grin, and retreated backwards, closing the door behind her._

_Listening to her footsteps on the stairs, Emmett tensed involuntarily as she stumbled, and breathed a small sigh of relief when she righted herself._

Emmett had always been a little concerned for Bella's safety, and up until now he had thought it was merely a brotherly instinct. However, that brief 6 second encounter was enough to plant the first seeds of doubt in his mind.

_A few days later, Emmett found himself pacing the school grounds, not seeming to notice the incessant rain and gloomy clouds that clung to Forks. He didn't care, he kept telling himself. Being alone was good. It meant freedom, and total independence. Besides, he wasn't_really _alone. He had Esme and Carlisle, Jasper and Alice, Edward and…well anyway. He was never short of company._

_As if she knew who he was thinking about, Bella stepped outside and, noticing Emmett with surprise, approached him._

"_You okay?" she asked. "You look sort of…" Bella couldn't find a word, and so bit her lip instead._

"_Me? Nah, I'm fine. Fancied a walk, that's all." Emmett tried to grin._

"_Want some company? I'm bored, with Edward away hunting and stuff." Although Edward had only been away for a few hours, Bella looked genuinely miserable as she mentioned him. Bella's glaringly obvious love for Edward sent a tiny pang of guilt through Emmett's heart- it wouldn't be right to separate the two._

"_Sure." Emmett shrugged his burly shoulders impassively. With nothing left to say, they continued walking in silence._

He didn't care. He should just get on with his life, and ignore everything his heart was screaming at him. It would pass, eventually. Really, he didn't care.

No.

He was lying to himself. This wasn't going to pass. He wasn't going anywhere, and neither was Bella. The three of them couldn't continue with life the way it was- something was going to have to change eventually. The problem was, Emmett couldn't imagine an outcome where everyone was happy.

Images ran through his mind- Bella whispering in his ear. Her hands on his. His lips on hers. The door flung open. Edward's screech of rage, his sudden pounce. Flailing limbs, violent snarls, Bella's scream.

He couldn't do that to her.

Emmett had to face the truth; Bella wouldn't ever be truly happy with anyone except Edward. Sure, having her for himself would make _him _happy, but in his mind, Bella's happiness was more important. If she wanted Edward, she should have him.

His decision was made- he couldn't live with the Cullens anymore, or continue to put anyone in jeopardy. Shaking, Emmett began his martyr's walk deeper into the forest.


End file.
